The Turkish Kiss

By now one would think I'd be used to the air kisses so common to Turkish greetings and farewells. It seems pretty simple. Air kiss to one side of your companion's face, retreat, and repeat on the other side. Simple, right? Not quite. There's major, major, potential for awkwardness and embarrassment. Why? Obviously there's the need for at least some cooperation and coordination. If both parties, let's say, decide to go for the same side, that no longer becomes just an air kiss--no, no. That, my friends, has the potential for imminent disaster of utter awkwardness as both parties realize the impending headbutt and steer in the opposite direction. This in turn becomes a perpetual side to side dance just in an effort to get that damn air kiss on its rightful path. And since both parties are mirroring each other and move in unison, the problem is not solved, and sometimes the side effect of what many call the eskimo kiss might occur. Confusion in such close proximity is never good. Not fun. And as for me, why is this difficult? Because I always bear left. Never bear left! I'm not quite sure of what my predilection for the left side is, perhaps I'm just always closer to the opposite party's right side (aka my left) and just shoot for what's closest. Actually no, even if closer to their left side (my right), I still go for the left. Every time I have that momentary indecision as I close in on the person trying to gauge which of my cheeks the person is going for so I can go for the same on their side...and I always gauge wrong. Ugh. Bear right, my friends. Bear right!